Girls: Are you a prisoner of your jealousy?
What’s with the attitude, mami?
Do you hate other women?
Do you feel angry when you think about women behaving provocatively?
Here are a few signs that you have a problem with jealousy.
•You check out women everywhere you go.
You immediately scan every room you enter for attractive women.
You position yourself and your guy as far away from them as possible, and strain your peripheral vision to the point of headaches, in order to make sure your mans eyes don’t glance their way.
You may be pretending to be listening, but really, you are pretending to be not noticing the other women so not to alert your man to their presence.
• You are annoyed by attractive women dressed in a provocative way.
“What a skank bitch! How insecure do you need to be”?
“I hate how some women have no self respect.. Walking around wearing THAT.”
But what you are really feeling is PISSED because you don’t want your man to notice their bodies and imagine them naked.
You don’t want to feel like he is thinking, “I wish you looked more like her” or, “I wish I could have her”
You feel threatened, and bad about your self, and irritated at your man for no reason.
•You take a moral stand against your man watching pornography
(But you sneak and watch it alone)
You think pornography is cheating, it’s disgusting, and it kills relationships.
Maybe that’s true…
But that’s not the real issue… The truth is, you don’t want him to see other women naked and fantasize about them.
You think that of you can control his access to pornography, he will forget that other women are sexually stimulating.
Then you won’t feel so inadequate, wondering how he can possibly be attracted to you when you don’t look anything like a porn star.
•You keep pretty friends at a distance.
You don’t invite your hot friend over to the house when your guy is there.
In fact, you can’t stand the site of her.
You secretly get annoyed every time a new selfie pops up on her Facebook page.
She is SO VAIN!
How embarrassing for her!!
We didn’t forget what you looked like… And how can you post bikini pics on Facebook for everyone and their MOM to see..
She just wants attention. It’s so sad how she makes women look bad like this.
(Actually, you can’t be happy for her for being beautiful, and despise her for enjoying it)
•You HATE home wreckers
Why can’t these women stop throwing themselves at your guy?
“Stupid little 20 year old sluts.. Can’t they find their own man?”
You think that it’s other women’s fault that you feel uneasy about your relationship.
You want to be able to trust other women to not go for your man no matter what, because he is attached.
You HATE women for not having the decency to stay away from men who are “taken”
Your self esteem is so low, that you hardly hold him responsible for his commitment to you.
He is less at fault for cheating than these “hoes” who tempted him.
You feel this way because deep down you feel like you can’t keep your man happy.
•You tear apart other women
“She’s so annoying!!”
“I hate her laugh”
“Her nose is SO big”
“Did you see her hair? Christina Aguilera called, she wants her 2002 lowlights back.”
“Nice grill! NOT”
“Oh man, she is a butter face”.
“Look at her though, I mean she has no style.”
“She is materialistic and a gold digger, she would never look at you”
“She probably can’t even boil water, she’s high maintenance”
“Ew she is so whiney”
“God she is dumb. What a bimbo”
“She is a total slut. Everyone has had her. ”
“Ugh. Could she BE any more fake”?
If you can devalue this woman, you feel like you become more attractive..
You remind your man subtly (or so you think)
That women like that are not as fun as he thinks.
In fact, they’re nauseating to be around.
• You hate happy couples
GAG me with a spoon.
“Who do they think they are kidding? Everyone knows they are miserable”
“I heard he cheats on her”
“She always tries so hard to make her relationship seem soooo great. I bet she annoys the shit out of him”
You think all happy people must be full of crap.
But at the same time, you pour over their photo albums online and start to blame your man for not being romantic enough, or taking you on enough vacations.
You feel like you are not loved as much as she is, and you hate her for it.
• You want other women’s boyfriends to notice you.
As much as YOU would SURELY never be a home wrecker like all these other hoes, you still secretly flirt with attached men.
Maybe not in the way you think of as flirting, but you make sure you innocently come across as appealing.
You want them to know that YOU are classy. And you can cook.
And you have brains…
You want them to think that you may be better than what they have.
You need this outside validation to feel good about yourself.
•You are annoyed when he goes out. (Even though you do)
You don’t understand, you leave to visit friends for a night, and where does he go?!
Out with the boys!
“Can’t he just stay home? Does he have to run off the second he gets a chance?”
“He can’t even WAIT to go get drunk and talk to girls.”
“I bet he is cheating.”
• You hate his hobbies
They are a waste of money, and time.
Maybe if he spent as much time being romantic as he did organizing fishing lures, and watching football, you wouldn’t be so “needy”.
Why does he always put you on the back burner like that?
You HATE fishing. You HATE hearing about it, and you hate the day he ever picked up a pole.
You hate how he can plan a Saturday fishing trip, when he doesn’t plan a Saturday any thing trip for the two of you.
You fantasize about his fishing buddies turning up dead, and you despise them for luring him away all the time.
They don’t even care about your relationship!
If you have struggled with jealousy, as many of us have, you understand how sick and powerless you feel.
The truth of the matter is that nobody can make you feel safe except for you.
And that’s what it’s about, right? Feeling safe?
Feeling safe in your love and safe in your worth.
It’s a scary feeling to think that you do not have the power to protect your fragile ego.
This is because you have chosen to determine your worth based on the love and acceptance of another person.
That’s no fun for you, OR the other person.
At some point, you have to look in the mirror, and decide who you are going to be.
Are you jealous?
Do you want to stop?
You have to get brutally honest in your self reflection, and learn to process your emotions according to reality.
The physical feelings of jealousy are like waves.
You can’t stop them, but you can ride them out without being overtaken.
Think about what you are feeling. Allow it to wash over you.. And breathe.
Remind yourself that what you are actually feeling is jealousy, how it feels, why it’s there, and that it will fade.
Try to pin point what it is about the situation or person that makes you feel fearful, or worthless, or ugly.
Imagine your worst fears, and feel the anger.
Now re evaluate your reality.
Did you die? Did you grow warts all over your nose?
Then move on!
Jealousy sabotages way more relationships than 20 year old blondes in bikinis.